Since the exchange between me and my brother was so perfect, I'm simply going to include it word for word here.
"Craved Honey Walnut Shrimp all day. Finally got to Panda Express. Ate delicious food. As I was about to crack open my fortune cookie I thought, 'Since I've been feeling kinda crappy and directionless lately, let's see what my fortune says!' It was empty. There was no fortune."
"Your horoscope is just a blank paragraph. That's awful. And it needs to go on the blog."
"No, not even that. There was no paper at all. Just a dry empty, cavernous cookie mirroring my soul."
"You just sat there staring into the delicious empty fortune cookie abyss?"
"The despair this cookie instilled in my has sent me to my bed for days."
"I'm never eating a fortune cooking again, just out of fear of the power the thing seems to have."
"I unwrapped that small, crunchy treat with rising hope, thinking perhaps the little piece of paper waiting inside would give me some direction for my life, or barring that at least a grin when I saw the silliness written there. But no. It was not to be. The universe felt it was important to reinforce the ennui I've already been feeling by telling me I have no fortune. Thanks, universe, and screw you."
